So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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