i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think my moral compass just broke
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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