May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
