Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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