I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize