I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
