You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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