somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
