Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
