i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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