Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
