i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
