I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
