i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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