quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
did i walk over a car last night?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize