fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize