Me. At least after what I've been through.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
