The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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