Soap is not a condiment
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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