Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
