About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
