at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
