I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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