OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
