i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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