New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
