I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
