I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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