I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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