I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
