try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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