If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
