he wants to bone in the snuggie
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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