this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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