:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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