As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You ate ashes out of my bong
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
