to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
