All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
