I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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