Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
