this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
