Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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