i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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