you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
