and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
