Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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