dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
