Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
