actually, I'm a sock model
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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