I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
