epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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