how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize