Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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