did you get engaged???
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
