Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
