also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
