I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
