I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
