i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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