Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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