pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm at about main and main street
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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