I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
