Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
