I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize