we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
