two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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