I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
