Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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